Love You To Death
by thelightwoods
Summary: A month after her wedding she woke up to find the spot next to her mattress cold and empty, lastly without a husband. This wasn't supposed to happened. A tale about disgust ,anguish, hatred, and love that gone wrong. So read at your own risk.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments. Props to Cassandra Clare for making such a beautiful series. We owe you our eternal feelings. Beware _some_ of references are inspired by the many novels and tv series that I've read and watched. Feel free to quote it! This story are loosely based by Pixie Lott's Love you to death!

_Prologue:_

_"The reason why Queen Victoria and Prince Albert's love story was infamous was not because Albert died at such a young age leaving the Queen behind but because Victoria plunged herself into misery until the moment she dies. Love cannot exist in our world, not for too long." Her mom's fingers stroking- caressing her face as she gazed at her with a sorrowful eyes._

"My lady, Her Royal Highness and His Royal Highness wanted to ask if you're going to join them for breakfast?" The servant snapped her off out of her reverie as she curtsy.

"Yes, I'll be down in a minute or so." Clary said with a smile.

It had been the routine for the past 8 weeks, Celine , her mother in law, would always send someone to see what she's doing or if she's in need of tea or cool refreshments. Her answer would always be called scarcely a reply. Her in laws doesn't seem to mind, they are somewhat more pleased and relieved that another day had passed without her not slashing her wrist, or maybe they just understood the pain she's going through.

Arranged marriage and one sided love are a utter recipe for a disaster and _heartbreak._

The recollection of that certain memory was still vivid. It's like a nightmare that keeps haunting her reducing her to woke up at such unholy hour. Every night she would woke up in vigilance, she would instinctively touched the empty space next to her to felt the coldness deriving from the mattress signifying the lack of human heat. His usual spot was nothing but a cold vacancy.

Maybe she did deserved to be abandoned without any farewell, It was partly her fault after all for agreeing at this arrangement and walking down the aisle hoping that the man whose going to put a rock on her finger would love her back the way that she always does.

In the morning after she was met with the sympathetic glance of her now family and their servants. It was Jocelyn, her mother, who caressed her back as she coax him that he will come back, he always do but she know better, she know Jace since they were ten years old and at that thought made her sob even more louder, her eyes shed a bucket of tears that uncontrollably rolled down her face. It was all clear, he wasn't coming back.

Considering he is one of Britain's eligible bachelor and the apparent heir of British Commonwealth. He had the power to easily sway in any way he prefer. He partied with his mates, getting hammered and laid every chance he can get. His status flared thus earning him handful of names like wild child, notorious playboy and a whole lot more.

But like they always say as we grow old we get a little bit wiser. One day it finally dawned to him that he wanted no part in one night stand affairs anymore, that he wanted a real relationship, he truly craved a cuddle in the couch while watching chick-lit movie with his girl.

_She jumped in surprised when he burst in her room without knocking. Thrusting a daily mail at her desk. She was speechless , she can't speak any coherent words as the headline rendered her stunned and mute._

_Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of Jace Herondale, Prince of Wales and Clarissa Morgenstern, the youngest daughter of Duke of Northumberland._

_"What the bloody hell was that Clary?" He demanded._

_"I don't know, why don't you pay Daily Mail a visit since they are the one who published that bogus."_

_"They wouldn't published that if the Buckingham palace didn't give them this bullocks." Ripping the newspaper apart._

_"Call off this engagement, tell the media. That's a utter bullshit."_

_"What drugs are you on? We are not engage, you didn't even get down on your knees. There's nothing to deny." They exchanged spiteful words, he was fuming in anger to the point that he loosed all of his wits._

_"You're dead to me." He stormed off out of her chamber like a raging bull. And the tears she'd been controlling in their entire heated argument fell, the salt water glided down from her eyes. An insurmountable of pain was aching at the bottom of her chest._

A/N:

What do you all think of the prologue? This was originally a Sizzy fanfic but it ended up as a Clace one.


	2. Wide Awake

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments. Props to Cassandra Clare for making such a beautiful series. We owe you our eternal feelings. Beware _some_ of references are inspired by the many novels and tv series that I've read and watched. Feel free to quote it!

_"2am wide awake lying_  
_on my bed tunning on the radio_  
_trynna make the emptiness go_

_I've been up_  
_I've been reading and crying_  
_trynna love you a little less_  
_But I, I , I struggle with my heart and my mind."- 2 AM by The Saturdays_

_When they were ten years old._

_They was sitting side by side in the top of a grassy green hill of Gatcombe Park. There are various trees surrounding them. It was one of the private county home owned by the Royal Family. Clary could see why the King fell in love with this land, God knows we are all drawn in beautiful things, there was no etched of modern extravagant. It was simply breathtaking. Inhaling the sweet air, She wondered why Jace hadn't moved from his spot. He was staring blankly at the Manor ,with his chin propping at his knees._

_By the slumping of his shoulder and how he hung his golden blonde head low like he is ashamed, when it became clear to Clary that he wasn't going to take the awe-worthy scenery. Something was clearly bothering him._

_It was him who broke the burning silence that was gnawing the enthralling view._

"_My dad is cruel. He always makes mum cry."_

"_Why,did your dad stole your mom's cookies?" Clary ask._

"_No, Why would you even thought of that?" Simon furrowed his brow as he rock himself back and forth._

"_Well you always made me cry, every time you steal my cookies!" She exclaimed, her lips thinning at the countless recollection of Jace sneaking around her jar of chocolate cookies, her mom baked._

"_That's different." Clary smiled at the sight of Jace blush._

"_Then what is it?"_

"_I heard from the servants that my dad had been cheating on my mom with his secretary." Her smile immediately wilted into a frown._

"_Like how you always deceived Kevin, Isabelle, Simon and me when we are playing hide and seek?"Jace made a annoyance sound at the back of his throat._

"_Never mind, Clary you're too young to understand this serious matter."_

"_Am not."_

"_Are too."_

"_Fine, If I'm young then you're young as well. We are born on the same year!" Clary retort._

"_Whatever helps you sleep at night Clary."_

"_Shut up."_

"_I won't marry." Jace confessed all of the sudden at the tender age of ten. He really give this a lot of a thought. After he saw his parents fighting; reducing her mom into bucket of tears. For nights he tossed back and forth in his massive bed thinking of why did her mom cried and why is his dad was shouting obscenities, words her mom strictly said he can't utter until he was under her roof._

"_Why?" Clary tilted her head. , her mouth gaping open. She wasn't exactly sure If she heard it right._

"_Because it makes you vulnerable, because to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one to be destroyed." As a small wave of winder gushed past them. Jace slowly walked down the hill leaving Clary to her reverie. Her mouth gaping open, completely feeling sorry at the boy who murdered love. _

Their twenty six years of friendship had gone to waste.

Jace ignored her as much as he can but when there's camera rolling and their family and friends are around he would transformed into her loving husband who would charmed the hearts of every breathing specimen in society. He possessed this certain skill that she lacked. He can wrap his finger on everyone's life even _her._He had that kind of power. Sometimes Clar, herself was left wondering how he managed to do that.

Time Magazine picked them as the couple made in heaven, the love story of the century. Some even spurted praised at how they are too perfect too be even to be _together._

Contrary in everyone's perception; their time by themselves was dreadful enough he avoids her like a plague. He perfectly made it clear that he loathed her as If he doesn't even want to inspire the same air she's breathing.. as if their years of friendship doesn't mean any single thing to him. Their daily banter was now dumped to thrash can. Their old fights looks like a balloon to this Trojan war they're currently battling. She never once imagined that both of them would find themselves in this terrible predicament.

And she knows that no amount of mu shu pork or any expensive imported mangoes are ever going to fix their broken relationship. Every night she forced herself to stop crying as she fell asleep thinking she brought it upon herself, to their friendship.

On their wedding day the cloud was dark, millions of rain droplet are already pouring in the gray sky- a snide gesture from the Gods as if to mock the dilemma she found herself in.

"_Jonathan Herondale, Have you come here today of your own free will to take Clarissa Adele Morgenstern to be your wife, that you may live together as equal partners sharing all that life has to offer?"_

_"I have."_

_"Will you love her comfort her, honor and keep her all the days of your life?"_

_"I will."_

"_You may now kiss the bride."_

To royal family members and heads of states and thousands of well-wishers from around the world who was watching or was flocked to London to witness this spectacle. In everyone's eyes, It may looked like they was having a magical time as he too forcefully grabbed her face and crashed their lips together but in reality they was just two broken people who are damned if they married each other and damned if they don't.

The glare that was commonly cast in her direction never failed to caused her breath to still in her constricted chest. He'll hate her forever but It was all worth it _for her family_. She can't afford to tarnished the recently established reputation of their family not after Sebastian thought it was okay to beat someone to death. She wouldn't forgive herself if she would cost her family another scandal.

After their wedding he would commonly come home when the sun was about to rise. He was too hammered to removed his socks or too damn to care if he was laying beside her. Alec would usually dropped him off, muttering a string of apologies on how they tried to stop him for consuming alcohol, but he always managed to get whatever he want in the end. He didn't speak to her unless when he feel obliged to-when there are crowd around but one night before he ran away. He throw a massive fit that she almost thought he could've hurt her _physically._

"_Clarrisa, my evil wench wife!" His loud slurring voice shouted. He don't usually call him by her given name unless he was mad at her for some reason and by the grim expression of his face, he was trying his best to suppress his anger._

"_I hate you, you know that right?" He staggered to their mattress._

"_You lost me." His hoarse voice whispered as he rolled to the other side of the bed._

And then two weeks later he was gone with no footprints in the sand.

A/N: Be a total lamb and share your thoughts with me! I don't have any idea if I was doing great or not. Comments are better than sex except Clace/ Sizzy / Malec sex((their sexual tension and chemistry are hard to compete with!)) Thanks for following and commenting :x)

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	3. Dare you to move

_I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
Like today never happened  
Today never happened before_

_Welcome to the fallout_  
_Welcome to resistance_  
_The tension is here_  
_Tension is here_  
_Between who you are and who you could be_  
_Between how it is and how it should be_

_Maybe redemption has stories to tell_  
_Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell_  
_Where can you run to escape from yourself?_  
_Where you gonna go?_  
_Where you gonna go?_  
_Salvation is here_

_-Dare you to move by Switchfoot_

_When they were eleven years old._

_It all started with a dare. _

_Jace accused Clary of being everyone's puppet, that she can't do anything forbidden. That she only does something her governess and her parents approved. And knowing Clary the more people said she couldn't do it, the more she would strive harder on defying everybody._

_So she did it._

_Despite of her heart beating loudly at her throat. She managed to sneak out in the stable and took her father's favorite horse.(It was his 18__th__ birthday gift from his father, the late Duke) His name is Raziel, A pure Spanish horse. It was strongly built ,have a long, thick black manes and tails._

_The Morgenstern are all excellent riders. Clary started taking lesson at the mere age of five, She rode her pony very well. That's what her trainer said. But her father strictly forbid her she can't ride any fully developed horse when there's no professional people around but now she's willingly prepared to defy her father with a heavy heart. _

"_It will be worth it. Jace will see that I'm not anyone's puppet that I can do whatever I pleased." Clary muttered to herself as she climb on the saddle of Raziel._

_Cold wind blew her face as Clary stabilized her speed. Circling the perimeter, She tug the reins tighter. Her eyes shot in alarm as the horseshoe bumped in a rock-large enough to lose her balance. Her feet got caught at the stirrup. Then it all happened so fast. Clary was down on the grassy ground with a loud thud. Her left leg was caught at the stirrup, hanging out in the air.__Her legs were throbbing in pain and she did not want to look at Jace who may probably laughing his arse off at the sight of her ludicrousness. Ignoring the diminutive pain, she touched her legs and let out a barking laugh._

"_I did it, I'm not anyone's doll. I'm me."_

Jace kept his sharp gaze at the pile of paper works on his desks. He hadn't left his office for the past two days. He wanted to finished all of his business work firstly so he can have some time to relax, restraining the string of curses that were ready to exploded from his unfiltered mouth. He remembered that he had some royal engagements that he need to attend to next week with his wife. He mentally chided himself for thinking of her. After all of the ruckus she caused in his life. She know how he perfectly feel about getting married and yet in the end she still walked in the aisle, driving them both in the pit of misery. She was the air that he breathed, the wall that shielded him. One of his _best friend _but no one can really handled the storm.

They grew apart as he wallowed in despair, He was very blinded by rage to the point he ran away from Kensington Palace, he hadn't answered every single perturbed phone call, email and text messages of Clary.

She said it would be all okay, that she couldn't give him the answer that he wanted, that her family couldn't risked another scandal. He felt like one of the people he trust the most in the whole world demoralized him. Nick him his blissful life. He felt the anger rising within him, he'd known her since in their diapers, and he felt so betrayed and angry at Clary's act of selling him down the river.

Their marriage was in agony in the next six months. They spent their days with a tense silence. There are many nights when he would drink liquors, exceeding to his alcohol tolerance. He would go scurrying at their chamber with a clouded vision and broken heart. Despite of numerous squabble and his attempt of hurting Clary on a lot of imaginable ways that she hurt him severely. She's making it a little bit difficult for him to hate her. Even though he was spitting names and hurtful words, she would still removed his socks and shoes like a good wife.

So he left.

Jace had given Clary what she truly desire, a time to breathe and to relieved herself from guilt.

He started to work on his private office at Balmoral Castle, one of the many private properties own by the royal family. He was ordered to stay and complete his Royal duties at Scotland. A little bit part of him never seemed to mind, he was glad that for the past three months he managed to dodged Clary's and his whole family hovering. He silently thanked the king, his father for sending him four hundred and two miles away from the Kensington Palace.

Though he couldn't quite bury the recollection of Clary's brimming tears at the corner of her eyes, her unshed tears that threatening to pour down in any second. He regret causing that so much pain to his best friend.

His head shot up upon hearing the thud of the door. As if on cue, his question was promptly answered by a muffled sound in the near distance. He was about to told off the servants that he strictly ordered no visitors are allowed when he saw the dark hair boy, grinning ear to ear at the side of the door.

"Hey Jace!" Alec gleefully enveloped his cousin in one of those bromance hug. Typically they don't hug each other but since they haven't saw each other every since his little run away, Alec felt the need to.

Alec isn't part of the socialites, he doesn't pay visit unless it's highly necessary, he is just not one of those good hearted foes who would drive himself for nine hours just because he wanted to catch up with his cousin. He always have a interior motive and half of those are exactly morbid and suicidal. After the exchange of pleasantries, he didn't beat around the bushes and hastily dropped the bomb.

"She's here in Scotland for the rest of the weekend. Royal engagements, I supposed." Alec said. Jace nodded, when it's clear as crystal that he won't going to initiate himself in a proper conversation. Alec decided it was time to use his obnoxious attitude, everyone keeps complaining about.

"So what's your plan?" Jace just shrugged.

"Oh come on!" Alec cried, throwing his hands up in the air, completely hating Jace's lack of human modesty.

"I left her three months ago, what am I supposed to do. THROW HER A FUCKING PARTY WITH CLOWNS IN IT?" Alec laughed merrily at Jace. It's like dumping a very cold water at a sleeping cat – getting him riled up always brought a pleasure to his cousin.

"That's not what I'm implying Jace. All I want for you to do is to at least make a bit of effort in pulling out your massive arse out of your head." Alec said, giving him a encouraging smile.

"I guess, We all just have to found out." For the first time in a long time Jace smile but his cousin should've known better that a Herondale smile is not worth of the price you're willing to gamble.

A/N:

Thank you so much for commenting and following this story. This means a lot to me. I have no idea if I'm doing a great progress or not. It would be nice if you would voice out a bit of your thoughts. And by the way don't you think the song is fitting for this chapter? Love :x


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